A strange dream

There was a woman whose face turned into a vintage metal vent when she was tired. You could see her eyes and mouth in specific parts of the vent, the face was articulate.

















While she was working on something on her bed, which was very tall and high and had a mosquito net hanging over it. You could still see her face though, very clearly. I would try to talk to her, to say that I was going away. She wanted me to take this big beautiful skirt, that was an iridescent purple. I didn't feel right taking it, so I left it in another room. When I returned there was a guy there whom I didn't know. He was trying to help me up onto the bed, so I could say bye. The bed was too high to climb, even with help. I woke up after that.

Getting lost on "Parenting Road"

The past few months have been hectic, the beginning of Summer was arriving, my son just turned 1, I am getting back into school, and I am starting to gather my things to start working from home. In the midst of it all, I realized that the family's health wasn't to par. My son was getting "chubby" according to the pediatrician. I was losing weight, and my husband would never want to eat when he would come home. Everyday I would rush to make my son breakfast, and I would make him a lunch that would contain some kind of pasta in it, and dinner was usually whatever the family would eat, which usually wasn't healthy. The family hardly ever ate fruits and if they did it was only my son who would constantly be eating bananas. Then it hit me, I was not doing my job right. What made me realize this was because to-day while getting my son a drink, I filled my son's sipping cup with Kool-Aid! That is worst thing I could ever do.










We have a pantry filled with natural sugar-free juice, and a fridge stocked with milk and cases of water. I decide to give my son a sugary drink. This was a clear lapse in judgment. Anytime I see a mother feed their kids Kool-Aid, or sodas...you know what, I actually gave my son soda at the movie theater a few days ago....why wasn't I thinking??? I am becoming those mothers that irk me, who do not care for what goes into their children's tummies.












I really need to get it together, I can't be lazy and just assume that sodas and sugary drinks are harmless. That is not even assuming, that is just plain ignorant. Someone should kick me for being so careless. Well earlier to-day I went online, scoured all over to find better alternatives to toddler finger foods, because it is difficult to spoon feed my son when I am busy or I have to run errands.











Plus I cannot leave my kids with my mother anytime I have to go mail a letter. I find it best to take my kids with me, it is not a hassle as some might think. If I give myself enough time and manage it well, things go by pretty smoothly. Besides, my kids can't figure out how to behave in public if I never take them out in public.













The problem is the food and drink, I think I may even pack a lunch and snack for my step-daughter. I hate to see her eat fast food when we are out, I know that it slows her down and makes her tired just when it is barely the afternoon. I am thinking of purchasing a mini cooler for the car, to keep the kids food in. Summer in Texas is "damn" hot, and I know that just brown bagging it will only defeat the purpose of convenience when the food goes bad in the heat. Yes a cooler with pre-made food and snacks...I am de-stressing just thinking about it.












I have a good plan on what to make on our all-day-errand-runs; even for myself. Well, it is to the point when you know it's getting tough. I think I can do alright with time.

Meeting people..Pros/Cons

You know when you go on myspace, you fill out the profile questions? There is one that asks and answers at the same time: Who I'd like to meet. Well they should have a subtext that says: Who I didn't like meeting. Because that counts, I mean it is a valid question and says more about you as a person, I think. Okay, if I had to answer that question, here are a few people whom I didn't like meeting: I won't be grossly specific.

Any ex-girlfriends of past significant others
My father's girlfriend
The doctor who performed my cesarean (because he was not my ob/gyn)
The permanent replacement for my 10th grade science teacher (after the original science teacher had commit suicide a week before school started)
Any ex-wifes of people I know
The mother of my 4th ex-boyfriend
The guy in the bar who assumed I was a single mother.
An old woman at the store who assumed I was a 16 yr old, high school drop-out.

there is more to the list, but it annoys me to even think of any more people.

Please tell me why....

This is a shining example of how my memory tries to drive me crazy. Thank geeks for the internet and search engines. If you want a quick example of what I am talking about before we move on, let me refer you to the July 2, 2007 post of Bees In Mouth. Okay done? Good, now for the past few days my mind went ahead and brought a past memory: of hearing a song that interested me in a club. I never got a chance the ask the DJ what the song was, I usually do ask but this time, no. So all of a sudden after a friend of mine was sharing some great songs that I had not heard in years, my mind reminisced. The song went..Please/tell me/ why......../when I cry/when I cry for your......./ . So what I usually do when I cannot remember what the song was or if I want to research on what the song is, I googled the portion of the lyrics that I have, either written down or in memory. Well that was all my memory retained and it was bunk. All the searches I did only yielded me a person asking "Please tell me the lyrics for this song, when I play it, I cannot tell what they are saying." So yeah that was getting on my nerves, I kept searching in different ways, even adding lyrics that I wasn't sure was even in the song. I knew the notes, but it is not like I can do a search like that. A few days I couldn't sleep, then finally, just now I found the damn song. It took me having to go to a different search engine other than Google, to find a blog that had a quick line from the song lyrics along with the song title and the band name. the Song is "Your Hands On My Skin" - De/Vision. The lyrics: Please/Tell me/Why I belong to you/When I cry/When I cry for your hands/On my skin. By the way I found this on Altavista.com's search engine. Now I can sleep and have a great song on my iPod.

My 23rd birthday weekend.

Well I don't even know where to start. Okay..I'll start at the beginning. This past weekend held my 23rd birthday. Since there aren't really any special birthday's coming up for me, I mean I've already past my 21st birthday, I wasn't expecting anything big. Well it all started on Saturday, the big day. I just wanted to have lunch with my husband at my favorite Thai restaurant. I was really going to order take-out, and just eat at home. I tried to invite my mom, but she had already eaten. I also tried to invite my sister, but she was busy. I didn't really want to eat without my family but my husband was trying to persuade me to just have a sit down lunch there. So I got ready, as much as I could. So we arrive at the restaurant and we open the door the to my honest surprise, my whole family was sitting there yelling "SURPRISE!" I could not believe it, I am usually good about suspecting something, but I had no clue, which was awesome. There was food, gifts, and cake! Afterwards, Rikky and I got relaxed, changed and tried to figure out where to go next. Rikky really wanted me to have a good time on my birthday. So I wanted to do something cheesy, but something I love, Skee-Ball! So my husband took me to Dave & Buster's, I've never been there before and it was awesome. I played crap loads of Skee-Ball and at the end of the visit, we had over 700 tickets. Then, after that, we got all dressy and nice and had a night out on the town. It was so much drunken fun, we were joined with two good buddies of ours. I decided to wear my stilettos with a cute black dress that Rikky bought for me. I ended up spraining my ankle while walking around the club, but I was still okay enough to dance, which was something I had not done in a long time.

The next day, on Sunday. I had to shake off my enormous hangover from too many rum & cokes, and got ready for the water park. My husband, mother-in-law, step-daughter, and my son got covered up in sunblock and hit the swimming pool. It was so refreshing and relaxing, I got to ride the lazy river for a half hour and I got to try out one of the water slides. It was fun, even after I bruised my tail bone from hitting the bottom of the slide, *ouch*. Finally, I got to sleep in until the afternoon on Monday morning :D. It was a great holiday weekend. I'll never forget it.

A little help, to guide me through.

For the first time in my life, I finally know what this song means. At a time when I can truly relate to it.

A repeat of the past.

I feel like the worse person in the world. I can see how much I have changed since 2002, and from the looks of it...not much. There is so much that I have been putting my mind through just this past week. Honesty and dishonesty seem to be my running personal theme, and now I am just digging myself deeper. You would think that honesty is a good thing but when honesty brings out more than just the truth; it brings confusion and revelations. A long time ago I had said that, I create my own problems even when things seem to be going well, I just have to ruin a good thing. To most people it may seem like a good thing that is being ruined, they are very mistaken.